Unexpected Blessings

Lessons from Trusting God

The shock value of the words you will read soon might be high to my close friends, and any one who has cared to listen to me in the past few months. But, today, I am grateful that I came to Yenagoa. 

When I am asked about my stay here, my default response is something along the lines of “I can’t wait to leave here and go back to Lagos”. But this series is a gratitude series so I had to think deeply about what I was thankful for concerning what has brought about my most complaints this year, other than the economy. 

For context, every time a Bayelsa slander comes to my TL, I always retweet or even quote tweet in a bid to lend my voice to the matter. It is a place with quirks that I am not used to, like the whole state not having electricity for about a month, yet nothing has been done about it. Before this happened, I would get power for 3-6 hours once in 12 days but now, there is no hope at all. 

The Japanese have a planting technique of growing miniature, aesthetic trees in small pots called Bonsai. These small trees have the ability to grow as large as their counterparts in the wild but are carefully cultivated so that they remain small. The bonsai effect has been used to describe the phenomenon where people have restricted growth, limited exploration and stunted or non-existent creativity. Many times when the bonsai effect is talked about, people are encouraged to move to places or change to routines that can spur them to dream and open their minds to possibilities. 

Photo by Elīna Arāja

I dare say that sometimes, to understand the dangers of the bonsai effect, you might need to stay with people who live that way for a bit. If you grew up in an urban or semi-urban area in Nigeria and visited Yenagoa, you would find certain things shocking. Within the first week of living here, it was very easy to see that if any development was being done in this state, it comes in small trickles that make it scarcely noticeable. I also noted that the bulk of the work to be done here is on changing the mindsets that have prevailed for generations but no longer serve the current times we are in. 

My friend, Omotayo, visited me in February and wrote something on The Lagossification of her mind. She pondered on whether if she grew up in an area like this, she would have the guts to dream or even what dreams to have. I understood what she meant because I often wondered what lessons could be here for me or what opportunities I could hope to get at the end of the year. 

When I wrote When The Best Writer Writes Your Story while on the campgrounds, I was not fully open to being here but had accepted my fate as such. Many parts of me were petrified and worried about life here because I did not know what to expect. Despite these very true feelings, I would tell people that if God wanted me to stay here after service, I would, no matter how sad that would make me. 

“Where I would be by this time next year, whether tangibly or intangibly, remains a mystery to me but I am committed to embarking on this journey with the one who holds my hand and has my back. I'm committed to obeying God in small ways so that I am equipped to obey in magnified proportions.” - When the Best Writer Writes Your Story

Reading these words almost ten months later, I am not shocked this is the biggest thing I am grateful for. I did contribute some effort in starting the cell church here, but the best thing about moving here was what it did for my ability to trust God’s leading.

Last year, I started working on actively following God’s plans, whether or not they were favourable. I got some consecration instructions and as I obeyed, I received more. Still, fear lurked in my mind because I did not know how things would pan out. 

Men and babes, I have been here for eight months and I have been doing fine. I might have been overwhelmed easily, gone through some emotional turmoil, battled loneliness, but I am doing okay. In less than seven weeks, I would be back to Lagos (n’aha Jisos) but if I have to pack my bags again to another place, I would do so without blinking much. My heart has learnt that if God is always good and only good, then it is in my best interest to follow his instructions. 

There are other perks, like having my apartment to myself and doing things as I want them to be done. When I was in university, I always had roommates because it was the cheaper option. After graduation I moved back home so this was my first time living by myself. Phew! I no longer have to pray in hush tones so I don’t disturb everyone else at home. 

With the price hike of commodities, adulting has been crazy but I am doing it. Also, I like having my long quiet moments which when I lived with others was considered rude, so now I can recharge in peace. What I did not realise I would really love was coming back to my things, the exact places I kept them. Ha! Younger sisters and roommates would show you shege with moving your things about. 

Deriving lessons from the mundane is a favourite pastime of mine so I am glad that I have learnt to trust God with better ease simply by enrolling in this mandatory service. It is a lesson that I hope to carry with me for the rest of my life. 

I’ll see you tomorrow with something I have been wanting to talk about for a while now. I hope this was a great read for you. 

Digitally yours, 

Angel.